I watched them approach the altar, and my first thought wasn’t what I expected:
Why the fuck was Valtire shirtless? Honestly, I didn’t know him well enough to ask, but somewhere deep down it made me regret showing up in this stupid uniform.
Then I saw Aes, and knew I was under dressed.
The ceremony started, officiated by a priest of Mara, surrounded by a crowd of people I didn’t recognize from their past. Next to me sat Taztha, keeping her distance, respectful of the space I’d asked for. Aes’ vows were beautiful, Val’s vows were... well, Val’s. Like all good wedding ceremonies, it was blissfully short, and followed by free food and drink.
At some point I’d made my way over to Aes and Val, wished them the best and thanked them for having me, and then I found myself sitting in the tavern, snacking on sweets and drinking while I talked to Taz, one of the few people from the Union I’d seen at the wedding.
The afternoon drifted into the evening, the wine drifted into mead, and the conversation drifted into quiet existing in the same space. I found myself walking the beach, staring out over the water, wondering.
What would their life be like now? They looked so happy together, like they belonged that way, like they’d always belonged that way. Who were the others at the wedding? I wondered if I’d cross paths with them in the future, maybe at the Aetherian Union, or on a job.
I found a spot on the beach, just a bit away from the waves to be safe from getting doused in water, but close enough to enjoy the sound, and sank slowly to the ground, resting on my knees. Even she was quiet here, her thoughts on what kind of fish might be in the sea, what kind of things she could catch if no one was around and we could dive into the water, fishing with our claws.
I leaned back on my haunches, hands instinctively reaching for the handle of my great sword to pull it off my back and avoid burying it in sand, only to realize a second later it wasn’t there.
It hadn’t been there all night.
Six years. The sword had been my only constant companion for six years, and I’d spent the last six hours oblivious to its absence. As I leaned back, resting against the sand, staring up at the stars, it struck me that the uniform didn’t feel so out of place. Even the wolf had been perfectly sweet all night, quiet except for the few times she saw a fish leap out of the water and pleaded to go hunt it down.
There was an unfamiliar warmth, in the pit of my stomach, crawling slowly up my throat, radiating outwards like someone had turned my insides into the soft glow of a warm summer sun. The muscles on my face were sore, my lips curled in something I’d forgotten how to do so long ago.
Is this what it felt like to be human? To be something other than a slave to a beast I’d never asked for, to do something other than murder my way across Tamriel?
Nothing that happened tonight mattered. This night was just another night. It didn’t earn me any money, didn’t get me any closer to a death I knew was coming sooner or later, and yet...
I didn’t want it to end. I didn’t want this to fade, I didn’t want to go back to a life of blood and death, to go back to doing everything I could to die before I killed someone who didn’t deserve it. I wanted to be here, surrounded by people who were smiling, people who thought of me not as a tool to be used to get what they wanted but as... a friend.
The warmth pulsed softly as I wiped at my cheek, realizing my hand came away wet. A laugh, unbidden and ridiculous tore itself from my throat, and then I was giggling like an idiot, to no one but the stars and the fish, for no reason other than because I needed to, because it had been so long that I’d forgotten what it felt like to be wanted as a human, to be... me, again.
And finally, I knew. I knew what that warmth was, knew how long it had been since I had felt this, since I had truly and honestly felt...
Happy.
